He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
