just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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