I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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