Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
