How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
