We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
