and you said cock pushups were impossible
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
