People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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