and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
