He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
