Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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