I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
