my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I look better un-naked...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
