Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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