Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
