She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize