i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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