i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
