just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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