Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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