When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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