Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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