Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
