Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
