He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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