erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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