Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
