Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
