i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
