This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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