I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
