No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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