Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
