you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
