Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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