i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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