just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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