I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
