so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
