am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we're making bets on your personal life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
