I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
