I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
