honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
