Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
