too bad you live with your parents still
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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