Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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