Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
