C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
