just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize