She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
