I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
