Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
