A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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