Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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