All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
