So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
