He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize