dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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