He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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