But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
