Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
