I'm jealous of your bromance
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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