google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
