i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
