A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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