Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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